Please Help

Please Help (reprinted from the Metro Spirit 2-21-13)

Yes?  Hello?  I need to talk to someone about my printer. … Well, the darn thing doesn’t print … More specific?  Well – let’s see – I’m in my Word, and I click on the printer button, and nothing happens.  It usually does, but I just can’t get it to work this time.  ….  Well, I’ve only tried in my Word, so no, I don’t know if it’s the same problem in other programs.  Is that important?  You don’t think my computer is broke too?  It can’t be broke.  I just got the thing last week.  How could a brand new computer be broken already?  …  No, I’m sure it’s probably the computer.  The printer was working fine with my old computer.  But ever since we brought the new printer, nothing has worked.  …  Yes, I said new printer.  …  The new printer is connected to the computer.  …  No, the new printer works OK, I guess.  We were hoping it would speed things up.  Everything just runs so slow. …  No, no, no, sorry, it’s not my computer.  You see last week my boss got a great deal on a new computer from his brother-in-law who didn’t need it anymore.  He had gotten one of those new iPhones or something.  Anyway, my boss brought it in here and hooked it up.  We were sure hoping it would help.  …  I’m sorry – did I get all-scatterbrained again!  My kids tell me that I do that from time to time.  Yes, you’re right – the printer still doesn’t work. …  OK.  That’s fine. I’ll start over.  When I click on the printer button, no paper comes out of the printer.  …  No, that’s the only problem I’m having right now.  …  Yes, this is the first time I’ve called you. …  Sylvia.  My name is Sylvia.  Thank you so much.  You are being such a great help.  … You need to send someone here to look at it?  Well, I was hoping someone could take a look at it today.  We close in a couple of hours, and I really got to get this report printed.  …  Oh, thank you so much for checking!  …  Yes, I’ll wait right here.  …  (hold music) …  Hello?  Are you back?  …  Oh my goodness,  I was telling that other person about my printer and how I need to get my report printed.  Are you going to be able to help me?  …  Well, like I said before, it isn’t printing.  …  More specific?  Well, I’m doing everything that I normally do, it’s just now this time when I press the button it doesn’t print.  …  I’m using my Word program.  …  Yes, I’ve tried in all my programs.  It’s just now nothing works.  …  No, no, I’m sorry.  I don’t mean to be getting frustrated.  …  I know, Sweetie, you’re going to do everything you can. … When did it stop working? …  Well, like I was saying before, a few weeks ago, my brother-in-law gave my boss a great deal on his old computer.  Now I don’t know what he wanted that old computer for, but he got it hooked up.  Just between you and me, I really don’t think my boss is that good with computers.  Lordy it took him almost 2 hours to get it all put together!  …  Now I don’t know that.  That’s his computer after all.  I wouldn’t want to be printing anything on that computer.  …  No, of course not.  I must be getting scatterbrained again.  My kids are going to love to hear about this!  This computer printer right here is the one that won’t print.  …  We’ll it looks like it’s connected to some wires that run across the floor.  …  It looks like they both go into the wall.  …  You want me to go to my computer?  But isn’t it the printer that’s not working?  …  OK.  If that’s what you say.  But is it important that the printer’s lights aren’t on?  …  No, I don’t see any lights.  …  Hold on for a second.  I’ll check.  …  Well look at that.  Miss Scatterbrained again!  Thank you so much!  You’ve been such a wonderful help!

Until next time, I’m off the grid.  @gregory_a_baker



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