A Bedtime Story (reprinted from the Metro Spirit 1-29-15)
(Author’s Note: More than a few years ago, back when my daughters still thought Dora was really cool, our bedtime routine would always include a nonsensical story about various and assorted talking animals in strange and interesting environments. Somehow, I’ve always thought that the Metro Spirit would be the perfect place for such a story. Especially right before the Superbowl…)
It was the monkey’s fault of course.
While a 1-year old seems to possess an innate understanding of how to buy stocks using an iPhone, primates seem to lack such knowledge. In this case, the monkey got spooked by the Doberhauhau and tossed the phone back at the puppy. The action caught the puppy off guard, of course. The phone fell through the forest canopy and smashed against the protruding rock below. The monkey looked back up at the puppy with a sheepish look on his face, as if searching for the right words.
“Umm…Sorry about that, chap. I didn’t mean for it to fall.”
“Unbelievable!” barked the puppy. “That’s the third phone you’ve dropped! What kind of monkey are you?”
“C’mon, why don’t you lay off the monkey?” said the Clydesdale. “You know he’s never gotten over being canned by E-Trade. You couldn’t possibly imagine what it’s like to go from Superbowl commercial star to being replaced by a human baby.”
“You want me to lay off the monkey?” responded puppy. “Of everyone here, you want me to lay off the only one with opposable thumbs. I don’t feel sorry for the monkey. He got another shot with Career Builder, and no doubt he’ll get another one, too. Why they want to keep putting monkeys in commercials is beyond me!”
About that time, three frogs came hopping up the tree. Each of the frogs was carrying a piece of a broken iPhone.
“Hey, Bud” said the monkey. “What brings you up to our place?”
“Bud” said the first frog. He wasn’t much of a talker. But the second frog chimed right in.
“Wise…” And that was all he could say before the third frog cut him off.
“Er” With that, the third frog pretty much said it all.
It was then that the Doberhauhau spoke up. “WASSUP!!!”
“Anywhoo…” said the puppy. “I can’t believe that I have yet another iPhone to replace. Did I tell you what happened last time I was at the Apple Store. This man dressed in grey burlap tried to sell me a computer from 1984. How am I supposed register domain names on that?”
(Off in the woods you hear the call, “Wardrobe Malfunction!”)
Meanwhile, a young boy walking through the forest hears all the chit chat from above. The boy stops and looks around. Obviously, he senses something different, a feeling that he hasn’t felt in quite a while. Perhaps a disturbance in the Force? If only he had is Darth Vadar outfit.
And a bag of Doritos.
And a bottle of Coca Cola. With a smile, of course.
Until next time@gregory_a_baker