Forget T.V. … There’s Nothing Online (reprinted from the Metro Spirit 9/26/13)
All right, it’s official. I’m bored.
I’ll be the first one to tell you that it shouldn’t be this way. The kids are all put to bed. The wife is enjoying the latest Project Runway. I’m left to the quiet solitude of my man cave. It’s just me, my MacBook and the entire Internet. Yet, I can’t help thinking to myself that there’s nothing on.
Don’t believe me? OK, let’s just start from the beginning. Follow me as I go online.
First, a quick check of email and texts. No late night emergency calls…good. No failed backups or other alerts…double good. A couple of random notes from customers and vendors…nothing urgent. Quick note back to the customers, vendors can wait until tomorrow. Now to the other stuff…hum, a couple of notes from Joe W. Delete. Delete. Moving on.
Next, I need to do a quick remote into work to check on a job I started before I left. It’s still running. Good. Now let’s aimlessly poke around at a couple of other things. Twenty minutes wasted and nothing accomplished. Perfect.
Finally, time to start getting to the good stuff. Open the browser, and of course, the news sites come first. I can’t be uninformed, after all. (We all know that the country is going to heck in a hand basket. If you don’t know what’s going on, how can you whine about it appropriately?) And look at that. All the idiots are still acting like idiots. There must be something in the water.
On to technobabble sites! In general, the tech media does a good job in entertaining me. Not so much lately. I don’t know how many articles about the iPhone 5S would be appropriate; however, two articles everyday for the last few months seems excessive. Also, we get it – the “C” stands for color.
Side comment – I’m going to back track a little and point to what are now several articles on how the finger print scanner on the iPhone 5S has been exploited. All it takes is your fingerprint, a high-resolution scanner and a little liquid latex. So simple even a Blackberry user can do it.
Maybe there’s a good article on computer security…hey, looky here…another expose on the NSA. They’ve really had a great decade when you think about it. Check out their bucket list.
- · Collect all cell phone data and save for later use – Check!
- · Collect all financial transactions and save for later use – Check!
- · Subvert industry encryption standards so that nothing is private – Check!
- · Collect all medical records into a single database – Oops! Looks like Obamacare got that one first. Oh well…
And so I sit here 5 hours, 23 minutes and 47 seconds later in no better condition, and coincidentally no closer to a completed Metro Spirit column, than when I started. In sheer desperation, I inch my cursor toward the BuzzFeed Cute Feed when I see it.
Justin Timberlake covering the King of Pop.
My friends, I wish that I could play it for you right here. 4 minutes and 21 seconds of pure musical pleasure. If your bum is not groovin’ by the end of this song, there’s nothing more anyone can do.
Until next time, I’m off the grid@gregory_a_baker